It’s been months since I last wrote anything in this blog, not shocking – I have the attention span of a 2 year old. One of my new year’s resolutions is to finish projects I start…clearly that’s going well.
I chose today to write again because there are certain situations that have occurred more recently that warrant a “I should write about this” thought in my head. Today’s situation is something that I feel strongly about and just need to get it down on paper..err well…”internet paper.”
I’d like to think that women have come a long way from when my mother was young and she would tell me stories about how females her age would go to college to seek a husband or how she was not be able to go to an art school in New York City because the big city was no place for a woman. I would hope that most women would agree, we want to be seen as equals.. We fight for it, we score high on SATs, we go to college for whatever we want to go for, we graduate at the top of our class, we get a high paying job, we become CEOs, or doctors, or artists, or teachers. We prove to ourselves that we have this inner power – that we are equals, that we can chug 10 beers at a local sports bar and rival the nearest gentleman in a game of arm wrestling and look good doing it… and then we fall in love. We fall into a deep, head over heels, sleepless in Seattle, makes me want to actually look good in underwear kind of love.
Now, there are plenty of people who have found the right guy or woman in their lives that brings them up and changes them for the better – but those people probably dated and fell hopelessly in love with the wrong assholes before they met the right person.
Though most of us are educated in the arts or law or history or science, there was no course on how to maintain our inner strength when the guy or gal we fell for becomes irrational and controlling and then ends it. And now you are 19 and you feel like your life is over. I wish I could go back in time and slap a backbone into my 19 year old self. Just how I wish to slap a back bone into some of the young girls I come in contact with on a daily basis. We become so consumed with our new found love that we begin to let our needs and our wants slip away. We then have this new fear that starts growing in our stomachs, that one day they won’t want us anymore and we’ll be thrown out like last year’s hair-do (the one with the bangs that I used to part in the middle).
I wish there was a conversation that got started when young girls go to see their school nurse for that special “puberty talk.” A conversation that talks about how important it is to be your own universe, your own world. To have things for yourself, starting with a backbone. To have crushes, to have a first love, a second love, a third love, and to get heart broken – but all the while to never loose sight of your inner strength. After everything is said and done, and Mr. Side Visor Frat Boy has left you in the dust, you still have yourself, and that should be enough.
These young girls need to a revival of self esteem or self awareness – maybe I’m using the wrong words – they need to be shown that they need their own life, their own hobbies, their own friends, their own personality. They need to set goals and achieve them on their own. They need something that makes them say, “this happens and it sucks but I can move past this because I am strong enough.” If only it was that easy…*folds super hero cape and places it back in the box*